A “Profound” Approach to Parenting…In 8 Steps that actually works (for me) Prior social media posting: (Photo of my eldest, Lili, 2.5 years old) This sleeping beauty is astounding to me. I decided a few weeks ago to try a new approach in parenting her. She is so verbal and brilliant (every parent thinks so of their own 😎) that I thought the yelling and time outs, albeit seldom, weren’t the best approach. I pride myself on treating children like “real people” from birth, yet I was not acting that way when it came to discipline. So, I began a more educated approach; one in which I utilized her toddler desire for power and attention coupled with adult-level respect and understanding. It has been an outstanding experiment and I want to share my positive outcomes. She has not needed “timeout” in almost 2 weeks, I have raised my voice […]
*This is absolutely a rant. I’m fed up and hesitantly decided to post, enjoy!* Look, I get that you’re insecure about the fact that your house is consistently messy, you don’t hardly take showers, you’ve completely forgotten about your husband, you don’t sleep, and you get nasty with anyone who looks at you funny when you’re wearing pajamas and matted hair to the store. However, that does not give you a right to bastardize those of us that choose to keep our house somewhat tidy, shower daily (even if it just means two minutes of hair washing), actually getting sleep, or sweet talking family into watching the kids to have just a couple hours alone with hubby. You can be a martyr, you can brag about your chaotic life after kids, you can try and pretend this is normal, shit, you can go raise zebras in your backyard, I don’t […]
HAPPY NEW YEAR! So, you want to know what I do? What my job entails? I am not going to rant, per se, but perhaps give a little insight to those who constantly ask me what I do. Mind you, they usually know full well I have children, and they just automatically assume I have a full-time out of the house job. I understand that comes from the new (often unfortunate) norm of our culture with both parents working, often out of financial need. I always wonder when that question started to become an ice-breaker…was it when women started to get offended because men assumed they all stayed at home and raised children? **Disclaimer: I do not judge anyone who stays at home, works full-time, chooses daycare, lets wolves raise their children, etc. This is simply what I do in my life. There are a million ways to be an […]
It is such bullshit that there are reading ages on books. Learning and ability should not be determined by age. “You must read by age…” “You must use the potty by…” Etc. Etc. Lili enjoys the wall street journal, and there is no way she is understanding, let alone actually reading it. But why should that prevent exposure? Our world is so caught up on “they’re not ready” and this isn’t even considering the zone of proximal development. Uneven advancement also is not understood in the majority of America (I cannot speak for other countries). I understand, age is something hard and fast and a somewhat accurate means by which children can be grouped. However, if parents have control over the lack of stifling and sorting of their children, we need to take advantage of that. Don’t let books and toys tell you your child is not ready. You be […]
Daily, often multiple times per day, I marvel at the wonder of creation and the innocence of life. When I observe my children, I see wonder and exploration in their eyes, love and passion in their hearts, and an unquenchable curiosity in their minds. The zeal for a life of joyful learning is inherent. There is simply no denying that Evolution is not the only driving force behind our creation.
Whilst reading the Amoris Laetitia, this sentence really struck a cord: “We need to free ourselves from feeling that we all have to be alike.” This undoubtedly comes into play in terms of parenthood. We need to stop comparing ourselves to the other parents and families. For example, feeling inadequate because our child isn’t at the same developmental stage of our friend’s child. As a society, we must recognize that having different parenting styles is OK. Yes, there are some hard and fast lines, which we cannot cross if it jeopardizes the safety and well being of children, but I am talking about the more personal choices. From brands of baby stuff and childcare, to nutrition and the usage of electronics. Obviously this transcends into every facet of our lives, and really minimizes the validity of our judgments of others and ourselves. I think we just need to realize, being […]
Differences Wow. My two girls could not be more opposite. They are still both delightful little beings, but it amazes me how different they are. Today really solidified that for me, and I thought I would document it. Lili (as a baby): Awful labor Hated boob Loved bottle Loved being carried in the expensive carrier facing me Loved being on the ground and playing by herself Needed to be put down drowsy every time to sleep Hated the car Long Hair Pasty Skin Amelia (5.5 months old): Easy labor Loves boob Hates bottle Hates the expensive carrier and facing me Loves the cheap 20$ carrier facing outward Hates being on the ground, and will likely never crawl. She just wants to stand. Is happy being put down wide awake for sleep Loves the car Short Hair Olive Skin Similarities: Adorable […]
My daughters remind me of Thanksgiving dinner. Yes, that’s right. My beautiful little girls remind me of mass quantities of food. You know that feeling you get about 15 minutes after the final bite of pie that you knew wouldn’t exactly fit in your already stuffed stomach? That ‘I’m about to explode, have to unbutton my pants, and pray I don’t spew chunks’, feeling? Virtually every night when I’m putting my daughters to bed, and their pretty little eyes are gently closing, breathing slows, and bodies relax I get that post-pie feeling. Except, it is in my heart, not my stomach. I feel as if my heart is going to burst any second. Just, about to explode with the overwhelming feeling of Love. I recall a comparable feeling when I was early on in the months of dating my husband. I knew it was love then, and I know this is […]
An 18 month old, a 6 week old, a husband, and two dogs under one roof… Sounds like the beginning of a joke! Well, it is my new reality, and one with which I am quite pleased. Sure there are some tantrums, many stinky diapers, vomiting fits, face reddening screams, and days that just don’t seem to go right no matter what I do. However, the majority of the time there are smiles, laughs, giggles, games, coos, new words, wonder, love, gratefulness, and so much more! SLEEPING: As of last week, we have a great routine down pat with Amelia (6 weeks) and Lili (18 months). Lili goes down like clockwork around 6pm (with the recent time change it bumped up from 5pm) and then Amelia cluster feeds, to go down in the pack n’ play in our room at 7pm. Lili sleeps until 730/800am and has been sleeping 12-14 […]
You’re So Lucky
“You’re so lucky” is something I hear more often that I would like since having children. Perhaps I am too caught up in the literal meaning, but it bothers me deeply when I hear that phrase in reference to my children or my parenting style. It really is not luck, and I feel like my abilities as a parent are being shrouded. Think of it this way…you get that promotion you have been busting your ass for at work, and your co-worker says “You’re so lucky to get that promotion.” You would likely say, “…no, I worked my ass off, it is not luck.” But, then again, most people wouldn’t say you are lucky for being promoted, they would simply congratulate you and tell you how hard you’ve worked and how much you deserve it. What is the difference between that and parenting? I take a great deal […]