The Last Third Trimester

2nd Feb 2019

As I enter my third trimester for the 4th and final time (yes, I mean it this time!), I feel an odd sense of peace. Not only because every week that goes by gets me closer to a healthy baby and the end of just another miserable pregnancy, but also because I know this will be my last. It reminds me of high school and the weeks leading up to the big end of the year test which required countless practice tests, memorizing totally useless facts, and so much stress from parents and teachers. The second I handed in the test was total peace for me. I instantly forgot the bullshit I will never need to know and all the stress was lifted. That feeling is what I desperately look forward to once my boy is born. Don’t get me wrong, there will be weeks of very little sleep to […]

Unwanted Emotions

18th Dec 2017

Postpartum depression is a roller coaster of emotions following giving birth. It can happen to fathers and mothers, and can manifest immediately or months after birth. For me, it came around 4 weeks postpartum with my third child. It is different for everyone who goes through it, but this is my version.   My newest little lady is immensely beautiful and I could stare at her and snuggle with her all day long if I could. I try, but the other two littles running around preclude that fantasy! Thankfully I have an amazingly experiences baby-snuggler in the house who wants nothing more than to love on my newest bundle (Thanks Gg)! The only time I do not feel totally head over heels in love with Gabi, is the 5 minutes or so two times per night when she stirs me from my not actual sleep with her crying of hunger. […]

Austlen Entourage Stroller Review

23rd Jun 2017

              The Austlen Entourage…where do I even begin?   The Back Story: A little over three years ago, while pregnant with my first child, I was looking into the perfect stroller for a growing family. I had been working in the baby industry for several years prior and had ample exposure to all types of strollers and was purely unimpressed. Price point was never an issue, but I did not want to overpay for a name brand that lacked functionality and longevity. I’m the kind of person who wants one really nice purse to last me years, not a different one for each season…same with strollers and other baby products. The best stroller I could find at the time was the Britax b-ready with the second seat and car seat adapter coupled with the Britax b-safe car seat. This set-up came to about $800 all-in-all.  My b-ready has been […]

Differences

15th Jul 2016

Differences     Wow. My two girls could not be more opposite. They are still both delightful little beings, but it amazes me how different they are. Today really solidified that for me, and I thought I would document it.             Lili (as a baby): Awful labor Hated boob Loved bottle Loved being carried in the expensive carrier facing me Loved being on the ground and playing by herself Needed to be put down drowsy every time to sleep Hated the car Long Hair Pasty Skin   Amelia (5.5 months old): Easy labor Loves boob Hates bottle Hates the expensive carrier and facing me Loves the cheap 20$ carrier facing outward Hates being on the ground, and will likely never crawl. She just wants to stand. Is happy being put down wide awake for sleep Loves the car Short Hair Olive Skin   Similarities: Adorable […]

Two Kids: An Update

14th Mar 2016

An 18 month old, a 6 week old, a husband, and two dogs under one roof… Sounds like the beginning of a joke! Well, it is my new reality, and one with which I am quite pleased. Sure there are some tantrums, many stinky diapers, vomiting fits, face reddening screams, and days that just don’t seem to go right no matter what I do. However, the majority of the time there are smiles, laughs, giggles, games, coos, new words, wonder, love, gratefulness, and so much more! SLEEPING: As of last week, we have a great routine down pat with Amelia (6 weeks) and Lili (18 months). Lili goes down like clockwork around 6pm (with the recent time change it bumped up from 5pm) and then Amelia cluster feeds, to go down in the pack n’ play in our room at 7pm. Lili sleeps until 730/800am and has been sleeping 12-14 […]

Little Lady

17th Aug 2015

Today I did something I never imagined doing, let alone enjoying! I painted Lili’s toes, in pink! She wore a wispy light halter dress with tiny auburn flower buds, matching barrette falling out of her lovely brown hair and a chunky aqua necklace draping down to her knees. We were going through her desk to find things to put in her little sister’s room (due in the beginning of February) when we happened upon a packet of kid safe “piggy polish” some friends gave us when Lili was born. Lili had to explore each color and handed the pink to me, so I thought I would give it a shot. While she stood with four other polishes in her hands, I proceeded to apply little dabs to her tiny toenails. She looked down inquisitively and stood still long enough for me to blow-dry them. I experienced such a flood of […]

The Best Age

25th Jun 2015

I’m going to be frank here, and this is not to say that infants are not amazing creatures all the time but…the “best time” in the life of an infant has to be 6-12 months…the most boring time is 2-5 months. When a baby is first born they are helpless and quite easy to take care of…other than the lack of sleep you will experience thus rendering you useless more often than not! For the most part though it goes: eat, diaper change, sleep, repeat. There is very little awake time for anything else. ‘lk90o-o ‘///////////////////0o7y‘.//.89 [Lili (at the fun age) wanted to take a stab at typing] The 2 – 5 month period is rather boring. They are still sleeping quite a lot, but have a bit more awake time…during which they can play on their back in n activity gym or scream during tummy time. You need to […]

The Day I Lost My Milk

10th Mar 2015

I never knew the magical powers of breastfeeding, until I lost them…   I had some trouble in the beginning of my breastfeeding experience with my daughter, but it all worked out and I ended up having an over supply. I thought it was annoying, having to pump a few times per day just so I wouldn’t feel engorged. I donated my milk twice to mothers nearby, while their own supply was becoming established. I pumped in the morning before my daughter would feed, and once right before bed. It was a hassle, but I thought if I could, I should because so many Moms cannot. Well fast forward to 5 months post partum when I got a nasty stomach bug that was running rampant around our city…I couldn’t hold anything down, not even water, for 4 days. As a result of my, ahem, stomach problems, I became dehydrated and […]

Overwhelmed

8th Jan 2015

I am alone. I don’t actually remember the last time I was alone… It has been well over a year, that I know for sure, as that was when Lili was conceived. Ever since then, I have always been with someone else whether it be Lili, family, friends, husband, dogs, etc. Tonight it is just me. Lili is asleep for the night. Alec is out with friends. Even my dogs are away at my parent’s house. I woke up this morning feeling very overwhelmed, as I have felt lately. I have an endless compulsion to do everything for everyone flawlessly. This is an admirable quality, but an exhausting one. On a typical day I wake up, (possibly work out) feed and interact with Lili, work, listen to some lectures or read journal articles, clean, repeat. In the evening I try to make dinner for my husband, and then once Lili […]

I am in love!

15th Oct 2014

It happened! I am in love!   Well, to clarify, I have been in love with my husband for well over 7 years, but I am in love with my little girl. 4 weeks after giving birth to her, I looked at her adorable face (which bears striking resemblance to her father) and my heart melted. It was such a wonderful feeling I had wanted so badly to feel. She then started smiling at me and chatting (the way babies chat) and that is when everything changed. I look at her differently and inherently feel differently toward her. When she cries, albeit very seldom, it hurts me a bit more than before. When someone tells me how lovely and beautiful she is, it uplifts me a bit more than before.   Now…the funny thing is that something else changed during this wonderful time. I now can honestly think about having […]