You Never Know If Someone Is Hurting

1st Mar 2019

You never know if someone is hurting. Sometimes they don’t even know. . This is pretty well out in the open these days in terms of depression and such, but yet it obviously needs to be said and recognized and acknowledged in different forms. My anxiety has probably been around for quite some time, I’d say at least 10 years, if not 20. (And I don’t want to dive into its origin, childhood and crap like that.) It was only until about 5 years ago or so that I noticed it. About 4 years ago when my brother really pin-pointed my moments of anxiety and shed light on them from an honest, loving, and intuitive outsider’s perspective.  He politely and delicately suggested medication and/or therapy, which is something I shy away from due to my “I can fix anything” attitude. I didn’t consider medicine as a fix, but instead, a […]

I want to worry about my family…

4th Oct 2018

     BLAH! I’m so damn fed up right now. Stress and anxiety is through the roof. There is no amount of meditation that can help me now, so I will take to writing as that tends to calm me and result in good revelations.      I want to wake up and go to bed worrying about my children and my family…not the condo association deactivating our paying tenants access to the building in the middle of the night. I don’t want to be fearful of a court hearing threatened against us for something we did not do. I don’t want to worry about a leak at the condo we are trying to sell, that does not actually exist. I don’t want to have to drive an hour (without traffic, if that’s even possible) to address a burglary that was actually the fire department breaking down our door and […]

Unwanted Emotions

18th Dec 2017

Postpartum depression is a roller coaster of emotions following giving birth. It can happen to fathers and mothers, and can manifest immediately or months after birth. For me, it came around 4 weeks postpartum with my third child. It is different for everyone who goes through it, but this is my version.   My newest little lady is immensely beautiful and I could stare at her and snuggle with her all day long if I could. I try, but the other two littles running around preclude that fantasy! Thankfully I have an amazingly experiences baby-snuggler in the house who wants nothing more than to love on my newest bundle (Thanks Gg)! The only time I do not feel totally head over heels in love with Gabi, is the 5 minutes or so two times per night when she stirs me from my not actual sleep with her crying of hunger. […]

What Do You Do?

1st Jan 2017

HAPPY NEW YEAR!   So, you want to know what I do? What my job entails? I am not going to rant, per se, but perhaps give a little insight to those who constantly ask me what I do. Mind you, they usually know full well I have children, and they just automatically assume I have a full-time out of the house job. I understand that comes from the new (often unfortunate) norm of our culture with both parents working, often out of financial need. I always wonder when that question started to become an ice-breaker…was it when women started to get offended because men assumed they all stayed at home and raised children? **Disclaimer: I do not judge anyone who stays at home, works full-time, chooses daycare, lets wolves raise their children, etc. This is simply what I do in my life. There are a million ways to be an […]

It’s OK.

26th Jul 2016

Whilst reading the Amoris Laetitia, this sentence really struck a cord: “We need to free ourselves from feeling that we all have to be alike.” This undoubtedly comes into play in terms of parenthood. We need to stop comparing ourselves to the other parents and families. For example, feeling inadequate because our child isn’t at the same developmental stage of our friend’s child. As a society, we must recognize that having different parenting styles is OK. Yes, there are some hard and fast lines, which we cannot cross if it jeopardizes the safety and well being of children, but I am talking about the more personal choices. From brands of baby stuff and childcare, to nutrition and the usage of electronics. Obviously this transcends into every facet of our lives, and really minimizes the validity of our judgments of others and ourselves. I think we just need to realize, being […]

My Two Weeks

27th Apr 2015

(Part of) The email I wrote to my Boss/Mentor/Role Model:       I have had a lot of time to think about my priorities and life in general and have come to a decision regarding my level of involvement with the company at this time in my life. It is with a truly heavy heart that I type this… You may not know the positive impact you have had on me, but it has been substantial, and I hope to continue our relationship for many years to come. However, in terms of me moving forward with you, it will be put on hold at the very least.     I want to take the time to explain, because I care about you and what you think of me. I want to do everything, all at once, exceptionally. However, once I am in the thick of it, certain areas of […]

Life is a privilege

22nd Oct 2014

The other day I found out via social media that an old friend from high school had passed away suddenly. I was in true disbelief when I was reading a message sent out by her husband, and instantly overcome with sadness. Not only did she pass away only a few short months after getting married to the man of her dreams, but she passed away on his birthday…She was one of the very few people from my high school with whom I truly felt a connection. She was only 26 years old and one of the most delightful, passionate, intelligent, and genuinely sweet people I had ever had the pleasure of knowing. Rest in peace, Stephanie.   While I was muddling through all the condolences and heartfelt memories of my old friend, I noticed some happy things in the fray of my news feed. Four acquaintances/friends of mine are due […]