I Miss Her

I had a hectic day yesterday that resulted in a nice revolution.

I had two new sleep consultation reports to prepare, which take two hours each at least. I also had plans for Veterans’ Day lunch at my parents house. The day started with me locking my mother, Lili, and myself out of the house before our morning walk. Then she offered to take Lili to her house for a couple hours while I work a bit, do laundry, and bathe my two filthy dogs. This was helpful, and I took advantage of the offer! After lunch, I did work while my parents (Nonna and Papa) and grandmother (GG) played with Lili, taking a break to fill her (not so little) tummy! Then I ran to the grocery store, sans baby, to get makings for dinner and flowers for my mother-in-law. I then took Lili to my in-laws (Papi and Nana) for some snuggle time while I prepared dinner for my husband and his work trainee. I spent a good two hours preparing an amazing dinner of prosciutto wrapped pork tenderloin, gnocchi with homemade red sauce finished with freshly grated cheeses, and garlic asiago bread. I also tried a new dessert, chocolate tart with a mocha glaze in an almond crust.

When my husband Alec came home, he noticed, I was in a less than stellar mood, and asked me what was a matter. I didn’t know and hadn’t noticed I wasn’t in good spirits until he pointed it out. I figured, nothing a nice glass (or two) of Chardonnay couldn’t fix so I passed it off as nothing.

It turned out to be wonderful dinner and left an even more wonderful mess in the kitchen that I have yet to clean up! Alec then went to drop off his trainee and pick up Lili while I transferred the dishes from the counter into the sink, put away the food, and started the wash for Lili’s diapers. When he returned with Lili, I felt instantly at ease and happy. I only saw her for a minute before he wriggled her limp sleepy body out of the car seat, into the miracle blanket, and then over to me for a quick kiss before putting her down to sleep. That single minute of seeing her peaceful face and dreamy smiles changed my entire demeanor.

I realized that, while I thoroughly enjoy having time alone to flitter about and not worry about her feeds, I miss Lili more than I consciously notice. I don’t actively notice it because when she is in the hands of her very competent and loving grandparents, I never worry about her. However, I do notice that I am rather agitated and lost without her nearby. Makes me wonder how I would behave if I had to return to a 9-5 job and be away from her for so long…Just another reason why I am so blessed to live the life I do and have such a wonderful family.