Oh Pregnancy…

Oh, second pregnancy, why have you enfeebled me?

Sure, I have a 9 month old to take care of, but I can tell a dramatic difference between this first trimester and the one I experienced only 18 months ago. This is daily struggle. If there was a name for the place between tired+exhausted and paralyzed+dead…I would be its primary user.

Here is my new lackluster daily routine:

If I am lucky, Alec will get up around 6 and play with Lili until 7 or so. Whether 6 or 7, I am still exhausted, and slept like crap, and the dime sized bladder syndrome hasn’t even started yet! I am half asleep watching Lili play until 830/9, at which point I plop her down in her crib for what I hope is the world’s longest nap. I promptly cuddle up and take a nap, only to wake up to the dogs doing something annoying and loud. I get up when she gets up, and then I muddle through the day until nap #2 comes about 130. Again, I cuddle up and nap. 3pm and we are both awake but neither up for doing much. We cuddle and chat a bit, then have dinner. Lili plays while I either sit or lay down. 530 rolls around and we head upstairs for jammies, bottle, songs, a bath if I can muster the energy, and then off to bed. If Alec is coming home that evening, I will make dinner even though I have no appetite. If he is gone, like tonight, I just eat some cheese and maybe a protein drink so I don’t pass out. I then count the minutes until 9, because any earlier and I 100% will not be able to go to sleep.

I look back on the day and it is all a blur of my nausea and her cute smiles. I tell myself, “the second trimester will be better” just to get through the day, but my last second trimester was no better than my first…let’s hope this time around my body read the articles that say I will get a rush of energy at 12 weeks!

(*crunch crunch* mmmmm thank goodness for saltine crackers)

I told Alec to remind me next time I get eager to be pregnant, of how I am feeling now. I feel selfish for possibly considering stopping at two because the pregnancy aspect of parenting is so unpleasant for me, but man, I am barely getting by right now, and I only have one little bundle of perfect cuteness to watch over.

Let’s hope I get that wondrous surge of energy back in t-minus 4 weeks!