Second Trimester Glow

Here I am, basking in the glow of my second, 2^nd trimester. The glow has a greenish hue to it, as my nausea has not subsided as everyone promised. And, just as with my last 2^nd trimester, there was no magical burst of energy…nope, still the same groggy mornings and afternoons…The only time I have a lick of energy is right as Alec is going to bed. I stay up reading or surfing the web, every night until about 2am at which point I force myself into a 20 minute dance of sheep counting and progressive muscle relaxation. My amazing husband has started waking up earlier than me to give Lili breakfast and go for a walk while I catch up on my rocky Zzzzs. I muster out of bed around eight if I am lucky and feel as if I did not sleep. Sometimes I wonder if I did not sleep at all how different I would feel…probably nothing noticeable. Sleep at this point is simply a formality.

I understand rest is important for my body and for the baby inside, however I am so sick of REST! I have no appetite and struggle to push down enough food just to sustain a baby, not even taking into account the adult housing said baby. The lack of food intake has resulted in an almost debilitating response to anything but rest. I took a walk the other day with Alec and Lili and I about died…it was our usual 4+ mile walk around town and I had to stop at least half a dozen times, stop to get a Gatorade, had a pounding headache, and felt like I was going to pass out (yes, it was also hot and humid).

Anyway, it is just a mess of a time. Everyone asks me how I am feeling, but I have a sneaking suspicion they do not want to hear the unpleasant truth. Yes, I wanted to be pregnant again and yes, I am unhappy about how it makes me feel. Sue me. People need to know that it’s not always a delightful experience, and that being 12 weeks pregnant does not suddenly mean you will feel like your chipper college self all over again. This process of growing a human being inside of another human being is a big deal; it is not easy or fun.

I try not to let my emotions or physical state get in the way of my life, so I still have fun with Lili, go on trips, stay up late with friends (hell, I’m not going to sleep anyway), and spend time with family. At this point, it is very hard to imagine getting pregnant again, but knowing me, I will have pregnancy amnesia and think it is a good idea another 10 months after giving birth…At any rate, it’s about time I turn off the screen and try to trick my body into relaxation mode, wish me luck!