Little Lady

Today I did something I never imagined doing, let alone enjoying!

I painted Lili’s toes, in pink!

She wore a wispy light halter dress with tiny auburn flower buds, matching barrette falling out of her lovely brown hair and a chunky aqua necklace draping down to her knees. We were going through her desk to find things to put in her little sister’s room (due in the beginning of February) when we happened upon a packet of kid safe “piggy polish” some friends gave us when Lili was born. Lili had to explore each color and handed the pink to me, so I thought I would give it a shot. While she stood with four other polishes in her hands, I proceeded to apply little dabs to her tiny toenails. She looked down inquisitively and stood still long enough for me to blow-dry them.

I experienced such a flood of joy and accomplishment I never imagined possible from such a simple act of obvious femininity.

It was in that moment that I realized just how wrong I was in my preconceived notions about having a little girl. Perhaps because I was always a tomboy growing up, and well into my adult years I strayed from dresses, dolls, purple and pink, Cosmopolitans, high heels, and all other typically girlie things. Not because I rejected the notion, but because I simply didn’t like them. Once I was married, I became more “domestic” and really began to embrace painting my toes (usually red), wearing heels, and enjoying delicious cocktails over my usual Jack and Diet. When we found out we were pregnant I only imagined a boy, and was surprised to hear the news of a girl. I was apprehensive and not eager to go out and get everything frilly, pink, purple, and princess themed for her room. Her room is still painted grey with neutral furniture and art. Most of the pink items came from family and friends, and are in good taste. I have come to appreciate classic dresses and dark colors on Lili, as I think they bring out her dark hair and stunning eyes. I still detest anything that says “Princess, Spoiled, Queen, All About Me, etc.” because I think it sends the wrong message of entitlement. Also not into screen print outfits and mainstream characters (Frozen characters, Sesame Street, etc.) not because I am against the media, but because I would never wear it, and I dress Lili as I would dress myself were I to look amazing in everything I put on!

At the end of the day, I love seeing Lili in dresses, hair clips, and nail polish. I do not know why I was so worried about these things in the beginning…perhaps because I never was like that when I was little. I also love seeing her play with dump trucks, wear shorts, get muddy, etc. I just love everything she does and everything she likes. Trucks or pink nail polish to dirt or bubblegum lip-gloss, I do not care. It was nice though, to feel such a strong connection on a feminine level, when I had never experienced such a wonderful feeling.

I cannot wait for another little girl to be apart of our lives, and this time I won’t cringe at the idea of dress up and tea parties J