I want to worry about my family…

     BLAH! I’m so damn fed up right now. Stress and anxiety is through the roof. There is no amount of meditation that can help me now, so I will take to writing as that tends to calm me and result in good revelations.

     I want to wake up and go to bed worrying about my children and my family…not the condo association deactivating our paying tenants access to the building in the middle of the night. I don’t want to be fearful of a court hearing threatened against us for something we did not do. I don’t want to worry about a leak at the condo we are trying to sell, that does not actually exist. I don’t want to have to drive an hour (without traffic, if that’s even possible) to address a burglary that was actually the fire department breaking down our door and not informing anyone. I also don’t want to have to worry about some jerk who isn’t getting his way and trying to negatively impact tourism and local revenue for my local city out of mere jealousy or whatever it is…

     I don’t want to wake up and fear checking my email because of how it will negatively impact my day, because it most assuredly will have such an impact. In fact, I’ve put my phone on silent for much longer these days, and I will leave it just barely out of earshot. Inevitably though, I run in and get it to capture the girls doing something fantastic. The pull of my phone draws me to check my looming email messages and alerts that have gone unanswered for all of 5 minutes. I remember when waiting for an email reply was a day or two… like the customary response times for those customer service emails you send when you have a complaint directed towards Target for marketing so well you go broke off the clearance section! **Just an example ;)**

     I want the root of my daily stress to be my family, not incompetent fucks who cannot operate properly by themselves for more than 5 minutes.

     My children make me see the good in life; the potential; the joy; the wonderment. Most everyone else I interact with makes me fear for the future of my children.

     I suppose I wish I could just live in the middle of nowhere and be completely self-reliant, but, let’s be honest, that’s simply not possible. So, what can I do?

     Perhaps I will just leave my phone in the kitchen whilst toting around my DSLR for moment captures…imagine that…finally using my expensive ass beautiful piece of machinery to really truly capture the joy and wonderment of childhood!

     If I need to type an email or something perchance I’ll get on my laptop…I feel more in control on my laptop. My phone lately has seemed too intimate and casual. I need more formality in my working capacity…

     Ahhh, that was so helpful. I worked through some issues, and only checked my damn phone about 30 times!